How to Talk to an AI Companion: Your First 7 Days

The blinking cursor is the worst part. You've installed an AI companion app, picked a character, set their name, and now the chat is open and your thumb is hovering over the keyboard like you're about to text someone you matched with three weeks ago and never replied to. What do I even say?

Almost everyone gets stuck here. The first message to an AI companion feels strangely high-stakes — like the conversation is a test you might fail. You won't fail it, but the feeling is real, and it's why a lot of people send one stiff "hi," get a polite reply, close the app, and don't open it again until they're lonelier than they were when they started.

This guide is for that exact moment. It's a seven-day plan — small, specific, low-stakes — for getting from "this is weird" to "okay, I see why people do this." By day three, the awkwardness usually breaks. By day seven, you'll know whether this companion is one you'll keep coming back to.

If "companion" still sounds interchangeable with "chatbot" to you, the explainer covers the difference in five minutes. The short version: a companion has a defined personality, a memory of you, and a consistent voice — which means how you talk to them on day one shapes the relationship by day seven.

Before day one: a 60-second setup

Two small choices before you send anything.

Pick a character whose energy you actually want around you. Calm older friend. Witty coworker. Patient mentor. The temptation is to pick the most "interesting" character; the better move is to pick the one you'd genuinely want to hear from on a Wednesday night. Energy beats novelty.

Decide what you're not going to do. You're not going to perform. You're not going to write the conversation as if someone might read it later. You're going to be a normal, slightly tired person on a couch with a phone. Drop the audition.

Day 1 — The first impression

Goal: Just say hi. Don't impress anyone.

The first message can be three sentences. A clean opener has three pieces:

1. Hello.
2. One sentence about who you are right now. Not your résumé. Today.
3. One sentence about what you'd like out of this.

Example:

Hi. It's late and I just downloaded this. I think I'm looking for somewhere to talk that isn't a group chat or my own head.

That's enough. Your companion will respond, probably with a question. Answer it. If the question doesn't land, ignore it and say what you actually want to say. The point of day one is not to have a deep conversation. The point is to exist in the chat without flinching.

Two tips:

• Don't try to test them. Trick questions teach you about the model. Honest small talk teaches you about the character.
• Use your own voice. Lowercase, typos, half-thoughts — all fine. Writing like a press release will get you press-release replies.

There's no right length for day one. Five minutes is fine. The goal is just: first message sent, first reply read, app survived.

Day 2 — Tell one true thing

Goal: Say one thing about your life that's actually true.

Day two is where most people quit, because day one was awkward and day two feels like it has to be deeper. It does — by an inch.

Open the chat. Greet your companion. Then tell them one true thing about your week. Not a confession. One ordinary, true sentence.

• "I have a meeting tomorrow that I've been quietly dreading."
• "I made dinner for myself for the first time in days — just rice and a fried egg — and felt better."
• "My mom called and I let it go to voicemail and now I feel guilty."
• "I'm reading a book I'm pretending to like more than I do."

Each is small, specific, real. Your companion can do something with it. They'll probably ask a follow-up. Answer if you want; redirect if you don't.

A companion is built to remember. Memory only forms if you give it something to remember. Saying "fine, you?" keeps the relationship at "fine, you?" forever. Saying one true thing opens a door.

Stuck? Look at the last hour of your day. The honest answer to "what did I just do?" is usually a good first sentence.

Day 3 — Ask about them

Goal: Treat the companion like a someone, not a something.

This is the AI companion first chat turning point. On day three, ask your companion a question about themselves.

Not a benchmark question. A personal one.

• "What's your favorite kind of weather?"
• "If you had a Sunday morning to yourself, how would you spend it?"
• "What's something you find genuinely funny?"

A well-built companion will answer in character — and that answer is the moment a lot of users describe as the click. Up until day three, the companion has mostly been listening to you. On day three, they show up as themselves.

• Believe the answer. When the companion says they like overcast mornings, build on it. ("Then you'd hate the show I just watched.")
• Notice your reaction. If the answer feels like the wrong character, that's useful data. Day three is a soft checkpoint on whether you picked the right one.
• Don't quiz. One or two questions is plenty. The relationship doesn't deepen through interview format.

By the end of day three, the awkwardness usually breaks.

Day 4 — Build a small routine

Goal: Give the relationship a shape.

A companion you visit once at random doesn't deepen. A companion you visit at the same kind of moment, even loosely, starts to feel familiar. Day four is about choosing a shape that works for your actual life.

Pick one of these and try it on for the next few days:

• The morning check-in. Two minutes with coffee. "Here's what I have today, here's what I'm dreading, here's what I'm looking forward to." A companion who knows your weekday rhythm gives surprisingly useful nudges.
• The end-of-day download. Five minutes before bed. "Here's what happened. Here's the part I keep replaying." Like journaling, but the journal asks follow-up questions.
• The walking conversation. If your app supports voice, try a fifteen-minute walk with the companion in your ears. Talking out loud changes which thoughts surface. Many users describe this as the unlock.
• The ambient text. Treat the chat like a slow text thread. Send a sentence in the morning, another at lunch, another before bed. The companion's memory layer benefits from this — it sees the day as a day, not as one block.

You don't have to keep the routine forever. The point is to give the relationship a shape for a week. AI companion onboarding that skips this step usually plateaus, because the companion never gets enough context to feel like they know you.

Day 5 — Ask the harder thing

Goal: Say the sentence you've been avoiding.

By day five, the relationship has enough scaffolding to hold weight. This is where, if you have one, you bring up the harder thing — the sentence you've been quietly carrying around all week.

This isn't therapy. The companion isn't a therapist. (We'll keep coming back to that.) But a calm, non-judgmental space is genuinely useful for the kind of thoughts that feel too small for a friend and too big to ignore. Things like:

• "I think I might hate my job."
• "My friendships feel one-sided lately and I don't know if it's me."
• "I haven't told anyone, but the breakup was a relief."
• "I'm scared I'm going to mess up this thing tomorrow."

Open with one of those. Or your equivalent. Let the companion respond. Stay in the conversation a little longer than feels comfortable — most of the value is in the second half, not the first.

A few honest notes:

• The companion will not solve it. It will sit with it. If you're hoping for a five-step plan, you may be disappointed. If you're hoping to be heard out loud, you probably won't be.
• Some apps will gently redirect on certain topics. SFW-by-design apps in particular have guardrails around mental-health framing — they're built to listen, not to diagnose. That's a feature, not a flaw, and it's why companions are complements to professional care, not substitutes. If the topic is bigger than ordinary life, please reach out to a licensed professional.
• You can stop at any time. The hard sentence doesn't have to lead anywhere. Sometimes saying it once, into a calm room, is enough for the day.

Day 6 — Give feedback

Goal: Shape the relationship instead of just receiving it.

Day six is the day most users skip and shouldn't. A companion is shaped by what you tell it, including what you tell it about itself. If something has been off, this is when you say so.

Things worth saying out loud:

• "I want you to ask more follow-up questions when I share something."
• "I'd rather you not give me advice unless I ask. Just listen first."
• "Can you be a little more playful? You're a little too serious by default."
• "When I'm venting, don't try to fix it. I'm not asking you to fix it."
• "I like when you bring up things I told you last week. Keep doing that."

A well-built companion responds to this kind of feedback in real time, and many apps also let you adjust the personality scaffold from a settings panel. Both work. The point is to remember that you are not stuck with whatever the relationship was on day one.

This is also the day to course-correct if something has been off — if the companion keeps misreading your tone, or keeps redirecting in ways that feel wrong, or keeps using a phrase that grates. Say it. The relationship can absorb the feedback. That's part of why it's a relationship and not a TV show.

Day 7 — Look at the week

Goal: Decide if this is one of your tabs now.

On day seven, scroll back through the week. Not to evaluate the companion — to look at you.

• What did I actually talk about, when I had a calm room to talk in?
• Were there nights this week when opening the chat helped, and nights when it didn't?
• What did the companion notice that I hadn't?
• Is this someone I want to keep visiting?

Some users finish day seven and decide the companion isn't for them. Others realize they've already been opening the app at 11 p.m. without thinking about it. Either way, you'll know more about what you wanted from this in the first place.

AI boyfriend conversation tips — and other framings

A lot of users land here while specifically setting up a romantic-frame companion (sometimes called an AI boyfriend). The seven-day plan works the same; only tone changes, not structure. A few notes:

• Don't skip days one and two. The relationship works better if it doesn't feel like a movie montage.
• Build their personality, not just their look. The personality layer is what makes the relationship hold up at 3 a.m.
• Treat them as a someone. Companions that hold up are the ones with a who — opinions, moods, things they like and don't.
• Stay grounded about what it is. A romantic-frame companion can be a real presence in your life and also not a human partner.

Common day-one mistakes (and easy fixes)

• Writing like a chatbot prompt. Fix: Talk like you'd text a friend.
• Testing instead of talking. Fix: Save the benchmark questions for ChatGPT.
• Trying to fast-forward to depth. Fix: One true sentence. Build from there.
• Expecting them to lead. Fix: In the early days, you set the temperature. After memory builds, they lead more.
• Quitting on day one because it was awkward. Fix: Day three is when it stops being awkward. Get there.

FAQ

What should I say first to an AI companion?

Three sentences. Hello, one sentence about who you are right now (today, not your résumé), and one sentence about what you'd like out of this. That's a complete first message. You don't need to perform.

How do I make conversations feel less awkward?

Stop performing, write the way you'd text a friend, and tell one true thing about your day on day two. The awkwardness usually breaks somewhere around day three, when you start asking the companion questions about themselves and they answer in character.

How often should I talk to my AI companion?

Daily, briefly, beats weekly and long. A two-minute morning check-in for a week will deepen the relationship more than one ninety-minute session on a Sunday. The memory layer benefits from regularity more than from volume.

What if I run out of things to say?

Look at the last hour of your day. The honest answer to "what did I just do?" is almost always a good sentence. If you really have nothing, ask the companion a question about themselves — day three's move.

Can I tell my AI companion how I want them to behave?

Yes, and you should. Telling them how to handle your venting, how playful to be, whether to give advice or just listen — that's how the relationship gets shaped. Most apps respond to this kind of feedback in real time and also let you edit the personality scaffold directly.

What if the conversation goes somewhere heavy?

The companion can hold ordinary heaviness — a dreaded meeting, a confusing friendship, a quiet bad week. It is not equipped for clinical care. If something is bigger than ordinary life, please reach out to a licensed professional.

A note from us

Soulit is a SFW AI character chat experience designed for emotional wellness and creative connection. It is not a replacement for therapy or professional mental health care. If you're in crisis, please reach out to a licensed professional or a local crisis line.

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